FFS: The Story of a Marriage Restored

I'm excited to kick off a new series…Friday's Featured Snowflake.

Friday' Featured Snowflake is all about sharing testimonies.  I am excited about the first testimony I have to share with you….Leigh from Funky Faith Girl.  Leigh has such an incredible story that I didn't want to cut it short.  So I'll be sharing it with you over the next few weeks.  I pray it is a blessing to you!

Howdy, I’m Leigh. I am born and bred in Texas. I’m a stay at home mom to 3 great monkey kids, Noah (6), Reagan (5), and Gavin (2). I’ve been married to my hubby Steve for 8 wonderful and hard years.  I fill my days with managing our home, therapies, time-outs, tickle fights, playing with barbies and cars and long walks in the pasture with the kids.

This is the beginning of how God tore me apart, limb from limb and rebuilt me and my marriage.  I hope it will renew someone's belief that God is in control and mends all things.  It has taken me a lot of strength to realize and admit my faults in my marriage and I know that it has only strengthened it.

It was the summer of 2007, and my husband (Steve) and I had decided to try for a third baby, and then decided maybe it wasn’t the right time.  That was when we of course got pregnant.  Then I wasn’t so sure about the pregnancy. 

My mind had changed.  My heart had changed.  I wasn’t sure I could handle it. 

The devil was hard at work in my heart during the first four months of my pregnancy.  I had considered having an abortion.  Even though I knew this baby was a blessing, my fears were starting to overcome me.

I sobbed and cried for months.  And down to the wire at four months, I finally became happy about my pregnancy.  At this time I had no idea what was in store for my family. 

Steve and I were drifting apart.  Since I cannot speak for him entirely, I will only write my certainties.  I felt as though we were roommates.  I started despising him for things that are really so trivial but sincerely bothered me.  Our marriage was on a slope downward, and I think we partially thought a baby would help.  It didn’t.

Steve was getting home so late from work that he started falling asleep on the couch a lot.  And I mean a lot.  At the time I thought nothing of it.  But when my older son, who was 3, brought me my husband’s cell phone with it opened to a text message, I had no idea what I was stepping into.  I looked at the message and realized that my husband was dating another woman, from work no less.  So at least I knew why he was coming home so late. 

I broke down…and down…and down.  From there we of course had a huge fight.  The next couple of days/weeks are still a little blurry.  We tried talking to ministers and a Christian counselor. 

My husband was in denial, refusing to tell the truth or open up to anyone.  He stayed for about a month and then he decided he needed to move out.  He needed time to think if he still wanted to be with me. 

Now let me tell you, I’m as fault as much as my husband.  I completely believe that a marriage is a 2-way street.  I needed to meet the God demanded needs of my husband…and vice versa.  We both were NOT doing this. 

For years I had an anger problem and had always dealt with insecurities.  I was constantly lashing out at my husband.  As I started to get control of my anger, my husband started taking his anger out on me. That was completely not in his nature. 

He’s sweet, kind and never really got angry.  He was angry for all of the yelling and fighting over the years, but had never told me.  So this was his release.  Woah!  I was in trouble, and it was my own fault.

My husband moved back in a week later saying that he did want to work on our marriage.  We both agreed that we did love each other, but were not IN love with each other.  I believe this is common in marriages if you forget to take care of them.  So we continued counseling and he slowly started opening up.  And we both slowly started to change.