The Story of a Snowflake, Part One

I have chosen to tell my story on Miracle Monday because my life is a miracle. This is only the beginning. Because it is such a long story; I have decided to break it into parts over the next few Mondays. I don’t know how long it will take. So, please be patient with me. I pray you will find it worth the time it takes to read.
————-

This is the story of a life:

My life

It is also a story of redemption:

God’s redemption

Many people see my life now and have no idea that it was ever any different. On the surface it looks picture perfect. In fact, we have been called “The All American Family”. If you look a little deeper, though, you can see the scars. They become harder to see with the years, but they are still there. Those scars tell an amazing story that I want to share with you.

If I seem a little vague at times, please forgive me. This is not only my story, but also my family’s story. As such, I want to protect them. We all have our faults. I love my family deeply. I have forgiven any hurts. My parents are only people, just like the rest of us. What has happened to me has shaped me in a way that would not have happened otherwise. I have always felt God’s hand of protection over my life. And I have always felt that it was for a greater purpose.

As such, I want to share it with you. May it encourage you. May it inspire you. But more importantly, may you see God’s hand and may you know His love and mercy.

My parents were young when they married. My mother graduated from high school one day and got married the next. I was born less than 3 years later in Berlin, Germany. This was before the wall fell. My mother said she could hear gun shots at night because people were trying to cross the wall.

We moved back to the States and my parents were divorced by the time I was four years old. For the next 14 years I felt a constant tug of war over my parents; always trying to be careful not to put one over the other, putting their feelings above my own.

My mother remarried, but it was not a good marriage, either. There were constant fights in our house. It was alot like living on egg shells.

On the outside, we looked like a happy family. We were at church every time the doors were open, laughing and smiling. No one knew what was going on at home. But, by the time I was fourteen all of the stress was beginning to take a toll on me. Suicide started to seem like the only way out.

What changed my mind? I am convinced it was the providential Hand of God. I have always been an avid reader. As a teenager, I would read every Reader’s Digest I could get my hands on. It was in a Reader’s Digest that I found an article on the effects of attempted suicide. It talked about the aftermath left behind for the families of those who succeeded and the physical effects on those who did not. I realized I really did not want to go down that road.

This is not something I have really talked about much until recently. I attended a prayer seminar last year where we were asked to journal through the 23rd Psalm. I was already crying when I got to verse 4, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.” It was in this verse that God graciously showed me how the enemy had tried to destroy my life. I had walked through the valley of the shadow of death. And God was there. I didn’t know it at the time. But He did and that is all that matters.

I had accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior over my life at the age of seven, but I did not have a personal relationship with him. But He was still there, His rod and His staff protecting me and comforting me.

My dear friend, this is the message I want to leave with you: God is always there. In the darkest of times, where there seems to be no hope, He is there. He truly is the Good Shepherd restoring our souls and leading us beside the still water.

May He restore your soul tonight. May He give you hope again. May He show you His unending love and His unfailing strength. Never give up on Him, because He will never give up on you.

Your friend,
Alicia

Join me next Monday for the another part of the story. I won’t say the rest because it isn’t over yet. In the meantime, join my friend, Beth, for more Miracle Monday.